Anger and the need to be in control

It is often said that the reason people get angry is because

we have “unfulfilled expectations” or “unreasonable demands”

Let’s Take a look at that:

 

List a few things that cause you to get angry…..

Waiting in line…

Traffic…

Businesses not getting my order correct…

Wife “nagging”

Husband leaving clothes on the floor…

Add your own…….

Now….think about WHAT  exactly it is that makes you angry about those situations…

I  expect to be able to get thru the line quickly…I have a right to…

I expect traffic to flow easily…. I have a right to drive quickly and get there fast…

I expect to be able to have some quiet when I get home…..I have a right to peace and quiet…

 

Think about the pattern… I expect…I have a right to

 

Basically we have a need to control other people’s actions…

I expect them to act in a certain way,

I demand it, it is my right.

Sounds like trying to control the situation doesn’t it?

So what do we do ?

Think about how you might be trying to control your environment and how things

might be different if you let go of that.

 

That may be difficult to grasp because it is so easy to justify our actions…

But think about the last few times you got angry….

Did you use phrases like

They should have! Why didn’t you! You know better than that! Give me a break!

 

Think about what you mean when you say that….

Whether you admit it or not you are trying to CONTROL what others do, think and act…and EXPECTING (Demanding) a different outcome….if you don’t get your way….you get angry….is that a REASONABLE thing to do? … is it FAIR to do that?

This was a hard one for me personally to come to grips with. But when I finally understood that I was trying to control everything, and became willing to work on that, things began to change for the better.

What if you let go of the need to control?   Think about it….